Bleak 

I can pretend that I’m not losing you, not sure how long will this go on. I was damn sure I was making the right decision when I decided to lose it all for you, but now it seems so, damn, fucking, pointfuckingless.

Where did all that genuine spark, genuine willingness, genuine motives, real feelings and love, where did all that go to? Why does it feel like we’re just going through motion and portraying these emotions just for the fucking sake of it.

From a point that I thought we could be forever – to a point where I don’t even think we could last till the end of the year.

From a point that I thought that marrying you would be perfect – to a point where I’m thinking twice.

All that negative vibes I used to feel when you were with him, I feel it all on me. And I’m so scared to react at all because I know what’s coming next, and I guess it has already befallen on me.

I can feel your love fading, your feelings fading. And I’m sort of prepared for this day to come.

And when it’s all done and dusted, I’m prepared for the pain, again.
Goodnight.

Dear life

It doesn’t matter anymore but why does it still ache?

You were toxic and you were bad for me and I guess you’re a really bad habit and I’m still suffering from these withdrawal symptoms.

For months, almost a year, I’ve hated you, until I don’t even feel a thing. Or at least that’s what I thought I feel, until I saw what had eventually unfolded.

I’ll get over it within myself.

Have a good life ahead.